Patricia Holmes
As the pace of life continues to accelerate, it can be more difficult to find time to share everyday feelings with family members. Planning time for the family to communicate can actually save time and simplify life.
Communication is the process of giving and receiving information. That sounds simple enough, but communication is actually a very complicated process. The following overview of factors involved may help overcome family communication obstacles.
Families may be very mobile. Individuals may live far apart and not see each other frequently. Even within a home, everyone's schedule may be so full it is difficult to find enough time to eat a meal together, let alone sit down to talk.
It may seem impossible to gather the whole family together. Instead, consider the possibility of two or three family members eating meals together, gathering to talk, or participating in a favorite activity.
Some families actually set a "date" with each other on a weekly or monthly basis. This might be a time to talk, work, or relax together.
People communicate their feelings and attitudes through physical gestures, as well as, by words. Listening, body language, and tone of voice are important parts of communication.
When listening to someone express feelings or thoughts, remember to make eye contact and pay close attention to what is being said.
When a very intense emotion is expressed, it is helpful if the listener restates what she or he thought was said. At other times the message being expressed is very clear or simple requiring no need to repeat it.
Tone of voice may provide a hint of the feelings which the other person is unable to put into words. Are they angry, happy, frustrated, enthusiastic, tired, full of energy, bored, or interested?
Body language may give an additional clue. Look at the facial expression. Sometimes even hands can express what the person is feeling. How is the body positioned? Are they standing, sitting, reclining? Sharpening observation skills may allow you to better understand those around you.
Through continued communication many misunderstandings can be avoided as family members learn to express more accurately what is meant and to understand more fully what others are saying.
Remember, it is difficult to read someone else's mind. Family members need to hear about the thoughts, feelings, and expectations of each other. Assumptions can create misinformation and result in more conflicts to be resolved now and later.
Learning to identify, accept, and understand feelings can be difficult to accomplish. Each person in the family is unique. Their characteristics have been influenced by a combination of inherited traits and personal experiences.
Everyone experiences a range of emotions from love, to fear, to anger, but different people can have different ways of expressing their feelings.
For everyone through, the goals is to express feelings in a positive way.
It is possible to improve and change communication skills. One of the most effective ways for a child to learn how to respond is by modeling his or her behavior from adults.
Usually people communicate in the way they were taught. But remember that learning to communicate effectively is an ongoing process for both children and adults.
As with other skills, improving communication skills involves a continuing process of learning, practicing, and further refining the skill. The time spent is well worth the effort.
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